I have a dilemma...

Dear Ms KayJay,

Thank you so much for sending me your novel 'Man on a Galloping Horse'. I enjoyed reading it and believe that it shows potential.

I particularly liked your central character, Matt the one-legged blind guy. However, I do think the book would work better if perhaps he had both of his legs and was fully-sighted. And maybe you'd like to change his name? I don't really like names beginning with 'M'.

The plot was thrilling and well-drawn. I love the idea of Matt riding out into the desert, accompanied only by his trusty steed. There's a great relationship between Matt and 'Dobbin'. However, I do think that it might work better if Matt was actually riding a motorbike - and perhaps not searching for his long-lost son but looking for a buried treasure? Additionally, the story would only benefit from being set somewhere a little less dry. Perhaps the Scottish Highlands? Or underwater?

Personally, I'd lose the bad guys. Yes, it is tempting to have that dramatic chase scene, the kidnapping and the courtroom battle, but I feel that this only disrupts Matt's journey unnecessarily.

(By the way - I'm not entirely sure that I believe in the idea of the letter getting lost in the post! I mean, just how realistic is this? It feels like a bit of a handy plot device that doesn't have any basis in real life!)

KayJay, I'm sure you are aware of how difficult it is to appeal to publishers in such a saturated market. A 'breakthrough' novel has to be exceptional to be noticed. With this in mind, I would suggest you consider having a female protagonist and adapting the book for a YA readership. And maybe include a space monkey, or some dinosaurs.

The book as it stands, is a bit shit. However, if you are willing to completely rewrite the whole thing, I might be persuaded to take a second look. No promises, mind.

Thanks so much for sending me your work.

Kind regards,

Ms Agent.